Breathing when you're angry: cool down before you react

What anger does to your body

When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, and so do adrenaline and noradrenaline. You may notice a faster heartbeat, tense muscles, clenched fists, a tight chest or feeling hot. Your mind may feel tense, irritable and unable to relax.

These are useful early warning signs. The sooner you notice them, the more room you have to choose what happens next.

Calm down, do not let it rip

A common belief is that anger needs to come out: shout, hit a pillow, go for a hard run. Research says otherwise. A 2024 review of 154 studies with more than 10,000 people found that calming activities, such as deep breathing, mindfulness and meditation, clearly reduced anger and aggression. Activities that raise arousal, such as hitting a bag, jogging or cycling, did not reduce anger overall. The effect of calming down held across ages, genders, cultures and settings.

The American Psychological Association says the same: letting anger rip escalates anger and aggression.

In the moment

1. Notice the signs: a faster heartbeat, a tight chest, clenched jaw or fists.
2. Give yourself time before reacting. The NHS suggests counting to 10 while doing calming breathing.
3. Breathe slowly from your belly, not your chest. Let each breath out be long and unhurried.
4. Repeat a calm word or phrase to yourself, such as “relax” or “take it easy”, as you breathe.
5. If you can, step into a calmer picture: imagine a place or moment that relaxes you.

Slow, gentle movement, such as easy stretching, can help too. A couple of physiological sighs or a minute of long exhale breathing are quick ways to start.

Practise when you are calm

The APA advises practising relaxation every day, so that it becomes automatic when tension rises. Breathing exercises are like any skill: they are hardest to use for the first time in the middle of a storm.

Other things that help

• Change how you talk to yourself. Words like “never” and “always” make things feel worse. Turn demands into wishes.
• Focus on solving the problem. Make a plan and check how it goes.
• Slow down when you talk. Listen before answering.
• Change your surroundings: plan time for yourself, pick a better moment for hard conversations.
• Talk to someone who is not involved in the situation.
• Keep active. The NHS suggests regular exercise such as walking, running, swimming or yoga, even though a hard workout in the heat of the moment does not cool anger down.

Relaxation techniques are generally safe for healthy people. Occasionally they make people feel more anxious, especially with a history of trauma; if that happens, stop and talk to a professional.

Anger and your heart

Anger is not only unpleasant. For about two hours after an angry outburst, the risk of a heart attack, stroke or a dangerous heart rhythm is slightly higher. This comes from a review of nine studies, all of which found more heart and circulation emergencies in the hours after anger outbursts.

When to get help

The NHS suggests seeing a GP if you are struggling to cope with anger, if self-help is not working, if anger makes you act in an abusive or violent way, or if you also feel stressed, anxious or low. A doctor can refer you to an anger management course or counselling; most courses use cognitive behavioural therapy, and reviews show that anger treatments work at least moderately well. The APA notes that with counselling, a very angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks.

If anyone is in danger, call your local emergency number (112 anywhere in the EU).